Reflection

I started writing a post a week ago about what my husband did one night when the kids were more trouble than they should have been.

As I was writing the post I realised that there were somethings that I did that night that were pretty childish. My mind immediately started making excuses for being childish..

Well I wouldn’t be this way if it wasn’t for. …

But then I knew that was ridiculous because no matter what happened to me… I have a choice not to be a bitch or just plain immature.

Anyway before I could finish that post… things got in the way and I forgot about it.

Yesterday my husband and I had our counselling session and it was full on.  A part of me felt like she was picking on me but a tiny part of me knew she was right.  Again my brain started making excuses… well she’s a shitty counselor anyway

No she’s not.  She is right. 

I need to stop blaming people.  Yes it was their fault but no you didn’t have to react that way.  Yes it is a scary thought that people might take advantage of you if are nice to them but that is on them.  NOT YOU. 

Its going to be a long road ahead.  For a long time I kept telling myself that I need to stay alive and sane for my kids but that’s not true. ..

I need to stay alive and sane for me.  ME. Because I can’t let the past define who I am. 

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