I wish that at least one thing happened without a hiccup but I also know that it’s a ridiculous wish to have because nothing comes easy. You gotta work hard to achieve the best result.
But this hard though? Getting beaten up at every turn??? Really????
I cannot put into words what I am feeling but I will try
I am Numb and act ignorant but I can still feel the depth of the whole situation right in the back of my mind. It lurks there waiting to pounce if I would give it a chance
I am angry that this is happening but I’ve also given up hope as I very well know that things will never be better
I am happy that it is finally coming to an end but sad that it is all just stopping with no positive result
Most of all… I am embarrased that this is happening. The whole world knows that my family is a broken one but I still want to shout it out to the world… let them all know every single detail of what has happened, of what has been done to me so they know that people like this exist. That it is not just the physical scares that hurt… that the mental scare is much worse.
The hardest part is not on those mothers days or those fathers days. The hardest part is watching everyone else interact with thier parents and knowing I will never have that…. knowing I never HAD that.
The easiest part is the thought that no one cares. Because why would they? My own blood hates me.