I was hoping with my MIL in the house my depression would stay at bay. It is hard enough for my husband to comprehend it, let alone a person I have barely spent any time with.
But it’s here and its not the kind you can hide. Its the kind that makes you want to curl up into bed all day. What triggered it? My breakfast for the family burnt and stuck to the pan. That’s it.
That’s all it took. Fucking burnt breakfast. My thought process went from “not good enough to even make a simple breakfast” to “shit mother, shit wife, shit daughter, shit daughter in law, shit human being…why are you even here?”
In my moment of anxiety I didnt really realise why I was angry. But my husband asked me to relax before he left for work and thats when I realised I was stressed out and it wasn’t really me but my anxiety.
I just want this thing to go away because I know I’m better than this. I don’t want to push people away but it’s just. …… *deep breath* easier….
notwithoutapology 