Whatever

Mentally it has been a good few months, my anger levels have been good and I haven’t been in a deep dark hole like I usually am. But the last week has been particularly hard. 
Like I am being forced to jump into a well but I am clamoring on the side of the wall so I don’t go in. 

I have been watching Iron fist as well so it’s not helping an “orphan” like me. 

 C: ….afterwards my dad sent me to live with my grandfather in Japan but I always felt like…

D: Abandoned? No matter how much anyone else cares for you. It’s not the same.

Anyway, If I wallow I will fall in so I am going to list the good that has happened so far:
1. Since I have been okay mentally, my relationship with my husband has been good. (Not yesterday, yesterday i hit him on the side of the head with a popcorn box because he asked me if I was pmsing….ok back to the good stuff. ..)

2. My daughter got into a school for next year

3. Work has been..mundane. I have a boss who is always on my side no matter how many bitches…i mean… no matter how hard it gets, so that’s good.

4. My best mate had a baby girl! Yay!

5. My husband got a better job. Higher position and pay! Starts in 2 weeks

6. Our landscaping is coming together… very slowly but it’s happening.

Honestly everything else is good. Its just the stress of money. That’s it. I haven’t been eating well as well so that doesn’t help. I just need to keep my head in the game. Work towards my goal of being a stay at home or part time worker mum and I’ll be happy. (Lol usually people have career goals and I have a get out of work goal! Ha! How times have changed indeed. Is this what a 30 year old mum of two does???)

I’ll be okay. Just need to get through today.

Don’t fret that you can’t get yourself speak to your 2 year old son because all that comes out is cry and sighs. Get something else done and come back to him. This is just one day out of how many ever long you have with him. He won’t hate you. Just keep going.  Kisses are technically talking as well. 

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