It is 2:19am Thursday the 26th of January. Very early in the morning on Australia day in other words.
Why I’m awake? cuz my son kicked me square in the face while we were in bed, so hard infact, that my earrings ripped out of my ear and fell across to the other side of the bed. Yep. I Screamed of course but no one woke up…of course . Who cares about mum really? Also, I have bad indigestion and have been running from the kitchen (to have water) and the toilet all night. TMI? Maybe. Meh
I am so going to regret not trying to sleep, in about 3 hours when my son wakes up and asks for “chokate bed mumma chokate bed” *aka Chocolate bread aka Nutella Toast.
I get the train to work now. The most exciting thing that has happened to me in awhile because I get my own time to read my books and go through blogs, something that I havent been able to do for almost 5 years now. Anyway, I came across this post this afternoon and I thought it brilliant. I have been going through looking for these people who have been through the same things that I have, since I started this blog, and here i found it right on my facebook feed
http://www.scarymommy.com/motherless-mother-mental-illness/
My mother doesnt have any Mental Illness (nothing diagnosed anyway) but everything in this article feels like, like the author saw inside my head and just wrote it down.
I wanted to message her on Facebook and tell her how much this article put me at ease to know that I am not the only one with these feelings, but I thought she might think I’m creepy? SO I am just going to rave about it in here, where Nobody (I know) would see.
I wish I could tell people in my life, how I feel. But I can never find the words. I just get angry that they dont understand…which is ridiculous because how can they without you explaining it to them?
This week was a good week. I have had lots of good weeks this month, which is rare. and I think I have figured out what my depression trigger is, so next month, when it does come along, I can, if i can, push it out of my mind or do something to keep it together for my kids. you know ?
Fingers crossed anyway
notwithoutapology 